I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
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Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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