i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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