I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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