I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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