I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
