I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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