Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
