Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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