Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
