Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
