are you still at the devil's house?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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