I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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