Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's rum buckets o'clock
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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