So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
