Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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