Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
FUCK WHALES
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
