I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
