He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
