T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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