Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
