He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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