I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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