I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
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bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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