is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
