her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
