we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i dont even know how to be here
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Mom said you looked used
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
