I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
