I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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