I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
