You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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