i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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