I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
