maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
