hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
