yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
