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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
