You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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