the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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