bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
