Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
