Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
