What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
