Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
