Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
