I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
