Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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