So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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