I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
