Having a random hookup so left but love u
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.