I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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