you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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