38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
