nut hugger
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have aggressive nipples.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
