well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
