After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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