Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize