On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
